Thursday, 11 January 2018

Turning a slow ship....

I had definitely hoped for a more positive start to 2018.
However, it seems like things are still challenging - more a continuation of 2017.
What is most disappointing is when one believes that they have made changes; gone through the hard yards and hoping for the outcomes to be different.  Made changes to set oneself up for a better tomorrow.  But no.  The outcomes are not different.  The pain continues both professionally and personally.  All that slogging. All that running with the head down to get things done. 
What is disappointing is that after all that push - nothing.  Or even regression in some instances.

Perhaps I am not used to being in such a predicament - and usually can overcome such a predicament.  But now I start to question whether I can even overcome it all and what it really would take.   Going from, "What do I need to do?" to "What else can I do?" takes some time.  I wonder whether I still have the same mental resolve I had when I was younger.   

Have I lost it? 
I certainly hope not. 

Perhaps I am lost in the detail or I am not really thinking long term enough.  Let's hope I can turn things around - soon!

Sunday, 7 January 2018


Sometimes, when the journey has been a long one, it is interesting to look back at how things have changed or evolved.  Often, one doesn't seem to see the picture when one is in the thick of things day in day out.  The subtle changes.  Little things.  Over long periods of time, the cumulative stack of all can really have a big impact on things.  Like looking at a single pixel and then drawing back further and further until one can see all the pixels interacting to make a larger picture.  Looking back, sometimes I wonder whether things would be different had certain things been spotted or had been done differently.

Facebook would occasionally offer a look-back of interactions with people or a 10 years.  Instagrammers would post their best 9 this time of year or have throwback photos.  I don't often go through all the photos I take, so seeing a random photo of yourself interacting with others in a time long ago triggers surprise at that moment which had been so normal, but today may not be.  Casual coffee catch ups.  Christmas parties.  Hopefully not so many regretful moments!

It happens when you find some old clothes.  Will it or won't it fit?  Some of my earlier suit commissions highlight that back then, I had a larger waist and smaller torso - so at least that's a small positive from when it was a struggle to button up my shirt.

Coming back to my apartment after holidays, I definitely noticed that things were a bit messy.  I wonder to what extent is this a result of stack of my bad habits of leaving things around?  Also, I cannot help but wonder what the effect there is of that on a person - perhaps shaping a person more.  Hopefully it is not too late to change those habits....time to (reluctantly) clean up!

Monday, 1 January 2018

Happy 2018

Looking back at 2017, I did try to achieve my goal of posting more.  I definitely tried to post more than those meager years and so hopefully that did come through a bit more.

What I probably did not do so well with was trying to post more photos - which would definitely make this more interesting and something which I think would add a bit more colour to the posts.  Especially after I bought my drone!

On reflection, 2017 was an interesting year and looking forward, it would be interesting if I were able to be more balanced in 2018.  I want to be able to spend the time learning new skills to improve myself, and read more books.  Now that I have a tablet, I hope I will be able to get out there and read more and welcome myself into the age of technology.

Last year, I mentioned - learning a new language (incl a programming language), so I think I need to definitely put some more time into it to keep up my language skills.

Over the Christmas period, my family mentioned that I am not really a planner - so that needs to change and I need to be able to plan more to do more from here on in.  I also want to have a cleaner place, so the plan is to be more discerning in terms of what I keep vs what I want to discard.

More goals to come and so many improvements but hope that 2018 is a better year!