The liberty of having space

When moving into a larger space it is liberating to have so much space.  I always dream of the things I could buy and how to decorate the space so that it would look nice and appealing so that I would want to spend more time there.

However, with great space comes great consumption. 

I realised I had accumulated a lot of items.  I was "pre-buying" aka taking advantage of sales periods. But often I will find a new place to put it and forget about it and buy even more.  I didn't really have the heart to throw things out.  One could consider it hoarder mentality, but oftentimes I feel like it was a waste to throw items away, and that I would someday find a use for it. I would sometimes feel sentimental on an item which was just due to the fact that it was under my ownership - silly, I know.

Recently, my family and I did a massive clean up.  But this was not just any clean up - it was a clean up of a lot of my childhood belongings - from pens, report cards, notes, comics, magazines, clothes and toys. Some of the toys were even unopened.  Dated wool jackets were going into the donation pile.  As we were about to throw them out, a quick search on eBay found that we were sitting on unsuspecting cash as these items were valuable to others.  So I hope that it finds a better life somewhere else and we can realise some money for it and reclaim some space.  The sad part of it was some of the items which were bought on sale and not used could no longer be used, such as shoes which had disintegrated or the rubber was no longer soft.

Of course, I kept those gifts which were irreplaceable.  I even found my first even Nintendo Entertainment System - with receipt and all.  

It was immensely satisfying to see the clutter disappear and to see more space but the pang of nostalgia as I let all those things go.  

What I realised was that within all that clutter, by discarding all the things which were less important, I was able to clear the way to truly treasure and focus on all the things which I value.

For now, I wait for the next sales... 

Denver Nuggets - NBA Champs 2023!

Congrats to the Denver Nuggets on winning their NBA Championship!

What an amazing achievement and to see how far they have come over the last few years- building, grinding and assembling and nurturing a team which has come through on the biggest stage.  Like any team, there are setbacks such as in the bubble, injuries to key players while also some luck in getting some strong pieces who stayed healthy and ready to help the team get over the line.  Truly embodying team basketball and the absolutely right collective mindset to winning.

 

I wanted to also reflect on Nikola Jokic.  The Joker has been an absolute beast in the post season and so very different last year when they bowed out to the Warriors - granted that they were missing Jamal Murray as well as a year of experience certainly made them look more like a team.

 Firstly, the sheer numbers that Jokic has been putting up has been insane - the triple doubles (and the volume in those triple doubles) as well as identifying what the team needs and going out and executing.  Absolutely ice-cool operator and definitely embodies MVP in terms of making his teammates around him better - freeing them up to be just experts in their trade.  Just spot up and score.

Not only his ability to be a point centre, but also mopping up rebounds and scoring and making the right play - without jumping out of the gym.  It is this type of basketball that makes it attractive on many levels (playing in teams from youngsters) rather than just pure individual 1v1 brilliance.  His play makes it exciting to watch and may not be "highlight reel" making the nightly Top 10 plays, but if you are a basketball fan with some level of basketball IQ it is very beautiful to watch.  In some ways, it is why the Warriors have been so popular as it is quite relatable basketball, but somewhat even more so, as they don't have insane flame throwers on their team.  Relatable as the best player was a guy who barely gets of the ground, but can impact the play in the right way.

Definitely deserves his flowers and as Coach Malone says, that he is a very nice and genuine person off the court, I absolutely believe it.  So another congrats to Nuggets and Jokic - well deserved and look forward to more exciting basketball in the future!

Lebron James - THE All Time Leader in scoring

Congratulations Lebron James.

Surpassing Kareem Abdul-Jabbar as the all time leading scorer in the NBA - a record which stood for 39 years, truly shows how special King James really is as a player.

The perspective of this is really quite amazing and really speaks to the longevity of his game.  He has played in over 19 seasons (so far) and still manages to put up amazing numbers that any starter on a team would be happy to have.  He is 5th ALL TIME in points per game and has produced at that level for two decades.  He is also 4th ALL TIME in assists - a crazy stat line for a scorer! 

Of course his first stint at Cleveland was a great one and he definitely carried/willed his team to the post season many of those years, before heading over to Miami and enjoying the championship glory before adding one in Cleveland and one in LA.

He is nothing short of amazing as a player both on and off the court - when you consider the hype, media attention and scrutiny he has been under since entering the league.  To be fair, I was not always a fan of his - especially his "decision", but if that's what NBA fans have to hold against him - then Lebron is definitely worthy of praise.   He made his teammates better, plays the game the right way, worked on improving the areas which were his weaknesses and loves and gives back to the game.  And yet  he is still not done.  Special.

What irritates me most of all are the so called pundits, talking heads who just hate on him or don't think he is "great" - especially those who have never played the game at that level.  Putting that into context - there have only ever been less than 5,000 NBA players (at the time of writing) - including the busts and those who had very long careers.  So we are talking about a very small percentage of the population who have really experienced what it is like to play in the NBA and then an even smaller percentage of players who ever hit numbers like that in a single game, let alone on a consistent basis.  Which is why I appreciate listening to ex-players turned analysts who understand the ins and outs of the game, politics etc rather than those who are just out to put their view out there and just try to disrespect players for the sake of eyeballs.  

I am sure that Lebron has the support structures around and in him to not lose faith in his own abilities and the mission and goals he has for himself rather than wallow in commentators just talking nonsense.  A takeaway is that it is really important to have that trunk of support, utmost belief to lift you up even then you have the doubts or if it builds up in your mind whether stemming from yourself or others.

Keep it up for as long as you can team Lebron and can't wait to see what other records are waiting to be broken!

 

Title Number 4 - Golden State Warriors - Some life takewaways

Congratulations to the Golden State Warriors on another NBA Championship - 4 in 8 years - a truly remarkable season and overcoming of adversity/injuries and negativity.

I have been a fan of Golden State for a while now, before the current run of championships. I actually was visiting San Francisco and headed to a basketball game at Oracle - watching OKC vs GSW in 2013 - where Iggy hit a fadeaway jumpshot to win the game.  Epic atmosphere which was nothing I had experienced.  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vi2bmUZ4NvU)

So fast forward to today, 18 June 2022, and the Golden State Warriors have won their fourth championship over in that period.  Following this team over this period has definitely allowed me to reflect on their success, drive, determination and fuel over this period of time and tease out some lessons I personally want to take away about what I have seen - and hopefully be a reminder to myself one day about how to achieve success.

1) Change the narrative - listen to criticism and work on changing

Bring up any Steph Curry backstory and it definitely includes his "narrative" - from not being highly recruited, the Nike slip, "weak ankles", him vs Monta Ellis, as well his defensive weaknesses.  

He went about his business and changed that all.  He definitely looks bigger/more defined than in his earlier years in the league, and the Celtics were not able to exploit his defensive weaknesses despite their best efforts of hunting that mismatch.  He was good in a number of series (incl. against Memphis).

He worked on changing the perceptions and his legacy.

Andrew Wiggins was huge for during this run- and he had a narrative attached to his name following his spell at Minnesota after going number one in the draft.  He played defense and gave them timely/clutch baskets when the team desperately needed something to turn the momentum (huge dunk on Luka anyone)?  He was constantly guarding the opposition's best players and scoring, and grabbing rebounds.  Sure, he is not Kevin Durant - but was clearly the second most consistent player during this run.  When he arrived the "experts" felt he was not up to par and was just draft fodder.  He worked hard to change his game and fit into the system.  He didn't need to be Kevin Durant because he is Andrew Wiggins.

Listening to a wide variety of commentators etc, there are always going to be critics and negative comments.  Take the criticism and change that around.

2) Find fuel

"I have a lot to accomplish. I don't have anything to prove."

Words from Steph in 2021.  He had his rings, his accolades, his max contract extension.  He doesn't need to win anything else and would still be a great player (as he was already in the top 75 players named by the NBA). But he continues to find the motivation to keep playing winning basketball. Motivation is the key to make one take action.  To wake up in the morning and continue to grind.  Every morning - not some mornings.

 

Mind you, post game 6 and watching the celebrations, these Golden State players definitely kept receipts of all the naysayers/slights/negative comments during the season and threw it back into people's faces.  But that's fuel for the individual to keep going.  

 

The core starters of Steph, Klay, Draymond all were getting paid handsomely, and had won it all three times before.  But they stayed hungry and motivated to finish the job.  They certainly looked and played more hungry than some of those who had never won it before!

 

Reminds of when I started going to the gym and not seeing results. Questions creep in - will I get there, when will it happen etc.  Remember the long haul, not about seeing results in one or two weeks.

 

3) Setbacks happen - stay positive and look forward

 

Injuries to KD and Klay left them disappointingly short in the NBA finals. The departure of KD and then further injuries to Klay, Steph and Draymond left them at the bottom of the league and not making the playoffs for two years.  Everyone was looking at them as an embarrassing fall from grace and end of their title runs.  

These would have been dark times for individuals and the team.  I have been injured before and had to take extended time off sports.  Okay, I don't have the luxury of multi-million dollar medical teams at my disposal, but watching various sports stars return from Achilles and ACL injuries highlighted a lot of them are not the players they once were.  

For the team and individual they had to accept they faced a setback and plan a path to recovery.  They had to buy into that plan - and nurture the young talent they could afford on their roster in order to move forward.  Yes, sometimes, one gets dealt a devastating blow and there are setbacks - but one has to stay positive that the path is right and continue to accept that one will be tested on their journey.

 
4) Let your game speak for itself, but you do it as a team, not individual

 

So many experts (and some who had never played the game at a high level) were making predictions.  Only a few faithful believed but the casual observer would not have picked them to win it all.  Even the ESPN BPI had the Celtics at over 80% chance of winning before the series started.

But at the end of the game, the Warriors let their game do the talking - as a team.  IMO, the Mavs and the Celtic's supporting cast failed to deliver in the clutch moments.  Steph Curry was great (as he is almost expected to be). But contributions up and down the roster also helped when it mattered.  Wiggins.  Looney.  Poole. Payton. Green.  Thompson.  They won it as a team throughout the various series and played collective basketball - and yes, they played off Steph's brilliance, but that's what they can do. 

5) Success is not guaranteed, so enjoy every moment

Like many in professional sports, there are a litter of bodies who don't make the NBA, or are out of the league after a short period of time.  Of those who stay, there are still only a few who collect a ring or any hardware.  One can be top of class, top of state, number one pick or MVP of the league - and still be ringless (*Charles Barkley/Karl Malone/Westbrook/Harden). Winning it all is not a guarantee, despite all the success one has had prior to that point.  Working hard doesn't mean success will follow automatically.

If the Celtics had won, then the stories written would be quite different.  No talk of dynasty.  No talk of greatness.  More talk of KD being the reason for them winning two championships. 

The two year hiatus reminds me of the Bull's championship run.  Sure, it was not due to injuries, but they needed motivation to keep winning - and it was the drive to become great and do something special.

But there are no guarantees - a missed shot, turnover etc would have ended that streak.  And even when the Bulls were on top, they blew up the team anyway and have not been contenders for a while.  

So one has to learn to accept defeat - bask in what one has achieved but need the drive/hunger and will to keep striving forward.

I personally was never good at enjoying what success I had - rather I would be quite shy about anyone giving me "props" and embarrassed so I tried to keep my head down.  From now on, I will try to accept and acknowledge the positive comments but know where I want to get to and keep striving forward.

 

Anyway, I hope I can look back at these one day and say I incorporated them into my daily life and thinking.   Hopefully I can add more thoughts as I go along!

New skills, new tech. From Nikon to Sony.

I have been on and off in terms of photography when I bought my first camera.
The trusty Nikon had served me well over the last 9 years or so.  Firstly the picture quality was great being a full frame camera and I managed to take it to many places with me over the years - Peru, Europe, Asia.  So many fond memories of the camera. 
In saying that, technology has come quite far over that time and lots have improved.  Image quality and dynamic range in the photos, autofocus (like Eye AF) and not to mention mirrorless full frame cameras has certainly seen huge moves over the last 9 years where technology is at the point where I see it as being quite mature.  I have never been fond of being the earliest adopter of technology, especially in areas of limited use.  But all these things are large step ups from what and where we have come from over this time.  In my latest camera acquisition, I decided to give Sony a go, having show with Nikon pretty much these last 9 years.  I did do a lot of research on this and thought I should outline why I decided to go with Sony this time around.
Firstly, I really enjoyed my older cameras, but did feel like I was missing out on new functionality, such as WIFI, video functionality (let alone 4K), live view and focus peaking.

1) Mirrorless - weight, size and live view.
We have seen mirrorless around for some time, and Sony was really forging ahead over the last few years in this field and established themselves as having very good full frame cameras as well.  Over the years, the weight of the sturdy DSLRs as well as significant improvements in phone cameras has meant I have often opted for the convenience of my phone over the DSLRs and often were left sitting in my dry box.  In addition, I felt I was missing out on live-view to compose my shot and settings real time.  Short trips as well meant I was carrying a fair amount of size and weight on trips and was thinking about how I could make this easier.

2) Autofocus
The new cameras and mirrorless, have great autofocus.  Covering a very large area of the screen as well as Eye AF in the Sony.  One of the most annoying and frustrating things for me is missing focus - because nothing can be done about it in post processing.  Being able to track subjects across the frame rather than just the centre of the frame is very nice.
Also, autofocus on these cameras is quick - less missed shots and high burst rates!
Shots of people, portraits - it's awesome to have some of the algorithm take some of the hard work out of it and just nail the autofocus.  Most manufacturers in mirrorless have it or at least it's coming (e.g. Nikon).  Perhaps also my eyes are not what they used to be!  Clearly it is something shooters are looking for these days. 

3) Video
Video is something which interests me, but I have not gotten into as yet.  Earlier years saw implementation compromises in the Nikon DSLRs, so I did hesitate.  But now that 4K is quite prevalent, I would be keen to capture footage now!

4) In body image stabilisation
Interestingly, Sony offers IBIS which is great for older lenses.  While not all mirrorless cameras offer it, definitely helpful for someone like me with some shakey hands!  Lots of image blur is unrecoverable in post as well.

5) Dynamic range
The new cameras have such good dynamic range - just as good as the DSLRs which have closed that gap up substantially

6) Adapting lenses
I gave this quite some consideration.  As we all know, good glass is never cheap.  But mirrorless has opened up a market for a variety of old lenses to be used on the cameras via adapters, mainly due to the shorter flange distance to the sensor.  Which is great as I won't necessarily need to get rid of all my old glass, as I still have film camera around.  Some even offering autofocus!

So why Sony, given I have been a longer time Nikon shooter?
Sony has been leading the charge in full frame mirrorless.  From the research I had done, their latest cameras have taken great strides in improving their mirrorless cameras.  While I had a friend who has churned through the Sony a7i it was the Sony A7iii which really got my attention.
Better battery life than previously.  Very good autofocus.  Two card slots.  And by virtue of being earlier in the game, and the gamut of lenses (native) and adapters around. 


In addition, there were two swing factors.  While Nikon had come out with their Z6/Z7 cameras, from all accounts, autofocus was not there yet and the FTZ adapter meant that I couldn't even use all my lenses with autofocus, given I have a few AF-D lenses.  Being a younger system also meant it was still getting onto Eye AF, autofocus was good, but not quite on pair, and not as many native lenses (if I went down that path).
Flowing from that, the second big one for me was that Sony (wisely) has decided to open up their mount information to third party manufacturers.  This incentives them to make good glass for their system with pretty much all the functionality, rather than having to reverse engineer the information.  This frustrated me from with the Nikon F mount, as there was good glass out there from other manufacturers, but they were never as optimised on the F mount.
If Nikon had come out with a better FTZ adapter that allowed AF-D lenses and with better autofocus then the decision may have been harder as there is still some very good glass from Nikon.

So I bought an adapter for the Sony which allowed me to also use my Nikon lenses on the Sony body with Eye-AF.  Third party of course, but works.

Of course the Sony is not all a bed of roses.  I knew that it may not have as good weather sealing and ergonomics (menu system is definitely a bit challenging to navigate with nested options), but I felt that it was still worth it with the above.  Lenses coming from Sony are not cheap, but I feel that the adapters and third party lens manufacturers are at least coming up in that sense. Sony also has an adapter for their alpha FF cameras, so that's also an option as well.

In a way, I am excited to try this new setup.  New camera - new tips, new menus and ergonomics to figure out. But hopefully some nice photos to come out!

Sample photo below of some food - straight out of camera!

Accumulation

Sometimes, when the journey has been a long one, it is interesting to look back at how things have changed or evolved.  Often, one doesn't seem to see the picture when one is in the thick of things day in day out.  The subtle changes.  Little things.  Over long periods of time, the cumulative stack of all can really have a big impact on things.  Like looking at a single pixel and then drawing back further and further until one can see all the pixels interacting to make a larger picture.  Looking back, sometimes I wonder whether things would be different had certain things been spotted or had been done differently.

Facebook would occasionally offer a look-back of interactions with people or a 10 years.  Instagrammers would post their best 9 this time of year or have throwback photos.  I don't often go through all the photos I take, so seeing a random photo of yourself interacting with others in a time long ago triggers surprise at that moment which had been so normal, but today may not be.  Casual coffee catch ups.  Christmas parties.  Hopefully not so many regretful moments!

It happens when you find some old clothes.  Will it or won't it fit?  Some of my earlier suit commissions highlight that back then, I had a larger waist and smaller torso - so at least that's a small positive from when it was a struggle to button up my shirt.

Coming back to my apartment after holidays, I definitely noticed that things were a bit messy.  I wonder to what extent is this a result of stack of my bad habits of leaving things around?  Also, I cannot help but wonder what the effect there is of that on a person - perhaps shaping a person more.  Hopefully it is not too late to change those habits....time to (reluctantly) clean up!

Are we there yet?

Perhaps it is me getting a bit further on on age and realisation that I have been working for quite some time.  But it did get me thinking about financial freedom - or at least a relative financial freedom.

While I was chatting to a colleague, we were commenting on how regulations and technology have really started to change the industry.  Furthermore, with family and worklife balance, how it would be good to be able to just take the time off when required.  Which brought me to an interesting question posed to me: "Do you have a number?"

I was taken a little aback, as I usually don't talk personal finance with colleagues.  But I was somewhat intrigued as to this - because it was phrased such that a number you would be happy with so you didn't need to work for money any more.  I had done some quick calcs, and had come up with a number which I thought would be acceptable in this scenario - i.e. a number where I would be confidently not eating salami sandwiches for the rest of my life.  (to be sure I love eating salami sandwiches - something which was cheap and tasty but I did eat a lot of it as I was trying to save money). Unless of course it is eating salami sandwiches in my holiday home in Italy. With water views... 

So I hesitantly stated a number and backed it up with some of my quick calcs.
"Excluding your own home, of course," they said.
"Yeah...., " I responded, unsure now of my quick calcs.  What else did I feel was missing as my mind started recalibrating.

Of course, context is required, as my colleague, who has a family,  are well paid professionals and I found my number to be quite a bit lower than theirs.

So what I realised was that this could very well be a lose-lose situation depending on who you are speaking with.  State a number very high, then people start to either judge you:
- Are you being realistic?
- Think you are already there, so believe you are rich or a snob;
- Admire you or just am jealous (as believe you are close to your goal).
Conversely, coming in low, like me:
- Are you being realistic?  How could you live off that.
- Think you are already there, but that you have no ambition.
- Admire you or jealous (that you are close to your goal).

Unfortunately, perhaps it was the fact that I don't like talking financial matters with friends which made me less aware of my personal finances, so perhaps this was a good lesson to spur me into action.

What I did find out is that while my number is not unrealistic, I need to consider the type of lifestyle I want from here on in.  I mean I can be more frugal and therefore get by on my lower number.  Knowing that I may not have as much as I wanted in retirement is a sad, but better to know earlier so I can do something about it. 

Anyone, less time on games and more on financial news I reckon!

Lifestyle 1.0

Following on from my realisation on fitness, I proceeded to do what most people would do.  Yep, I did nothing.  My shirt buttons kept popping open and I was still feeling bloated after most meals, but especially after dinner.  My belly was getting fat but kept encouraging me to have another beer.  

I had my gym membership and I was going to do various exercises now and again, but it barely made any inroads.

When my set of old scales gave my the ghost, it was time to buy a new one.  I settled on an Omron HBF 214.  My previous set had an electronic display, which I thought was already an upgrade!  This particular model also looks to measure body fat, visceral fat and body age.  Excitedly, like a child with a new toy, I jumped on to take these new body measurements.  'Most of my weight gain was just muscle', I reassured myself.  'It's just the belly fat'.  After taking down the results, it was time to interpret them.  BMI - over.  Body Fat - outside of normal range.  Visceral Fat - High.  Body age - 7 years older than I am.  Deflated, like a child who doesn't know how to play with a new toy, I measured again just to be sure.  Same results. After other people jumped on it and it was confirmed to be working correctly....I was surprised and shocked.  

I thought I was eating healthy already?  I already cut out sugary drinks and sugar in my tea/coffee.  What more do I need to do?  What is visceral fat anyway?  

After a load of questions I was somewhat ready to tackle the issue.  There is no change, if there is no change.  I am still a newbie when it comes to fitness and health.  Speaking with older friends, they had previously lamented the fact that their bodies have changed with age and that they getting fatter, or have problems recovering.  I never really had that problem, so I had dismissed that somewhat.

So now it was time to pay more attention as the fight was on my doorstep!

My doctor had previously told me that diet was around 70% (assuming one is not a professional athlete).  I had previously downloaded an app - myfitnesspal.  It had been a while, so after updating it, I started to count the calories I was eating to see if there was anything there.  I started going cold turkey so at the beginning of the month, I decided to have salad for lunch.  I stopped snacking on biscuits/chocolates on my trips to the kitchen - eating pieces of fruit instead.  I felt hungry after lunch as I was eating earlier in order to avoid crowds.  Early afternoon was a struggle, as my body was calling out for me to eat more.  The fruit tied me over for a while.  

I started to go to the gym four times a week and lifting weights.  It had been a while since I had gone to the gym.  Work commitments always made me tired and unmotivated.  'Maybe tomorrow', I would tell myself.  'It's raining today', I would think as I looked out the window.  I certainly was getting up early enough to be able to make it to the gym, but the will was not there - until those results from the scales slapped me in the face!  I tried to go after work (realising that my gym closes at midnight).  It was packed.  My lack of exercise meant I was starting off with light weights in comparison to all the all the deep V tank top wearing people around me.  'I have to just start and not worry about other people,' I sighed.  

This was a few weeks ago.  On the food front, after about 10 days, my afternoon hunger pangs have reduced as my body has adjusted to the reduced intake.  During that time, I had two of my previous "normal" lunches - a chicken curry rice, and a BBQ pork rice with veggies.  The calorie count on were much higher than my salad lunch and I actually felt bloated after eating.  I have not tried it again.  My dinner diet at home has also changed - adding more vegetables and a smaller portion of meat. Not half bad tasting, but at least it is much healthier than when I was eating out 95% of the time, which had a large proportion of carbs.

I have already shed a few kilos of weight and my pants and shirts suddenly are not bursting at the seams.  Interestingly, my posture has improved and I don't feel tired in the seated position any more - strange I know, but I don't think I worked my back muscles as much as I did before!  After most meals, I felt bloated and lethargic and really don't feel that way so much any more.

Obviously early days still, so hopefully I can look forward to getting fitter, better shape and healthier!  At least I don't need to buy a new wardrobe!

Against the grain

Sometimes, things just don't go your way. 

Like when you leave the house at a particular time and see the bus pull away. 

But sometimes, these things don't come in a drizzle.  It will rain - and not the garden variety, but cats-and-dogs variety.

So you've missed the bus and have to wait 20mins for the next one.  Of course you had wanted to be early today.  Pulling out your phone, you realise that your phone battery has dies.  At which you point you rummage through your bag and there is no charger in there. Awesome. Then it starts raining. and you have not umbrella. What the....

There are times where I get the sense that some people are just lucky - and perhaps more lucky than me.  Like the guy who doesn't get wet as a bus brings up the gutter water onto the pedestrians, while everyone else is soaked.  Is it really just really good planning and foresight, I wonder?  Or am I just being superstitious?

Separately, reading books like "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell were certainly interesting - as a way to understand these outliers and the positive reinforcement select groups of individuals might have due to some circumstance which might be unrelated. While the reverse is also true for those who are not part of that group.  I subscribe to that view that sometimes, the situation which lands one in a particular position helps the next step but perhaps we need to be focused on where we are going more consciously and try to influence that sphere which we can influence and step into, thereby enhancing the opportunities to move forward. 

Back into the swing of things

It has definitely been a busy period for me.

So it is definitely been good to be not so busy and then focus on a few things which either are neglected, or just have not been doing as much of lately.  The two things which come to mind immediately are gaming and photography.

From a gaming perspective, there has been some absolutely shocking closure rates.   For a while I was trying to get into Civ Rev - and attempt to finish it on different civilisations in different outcomes, but that does take a fair bit of time. I had bought some PS3 games on the cheap, hoping to finish them before starting on the PS4 games.  But what has happened in reality is that my PS3 has been neglecting and my PS4 remains practically unopened!  Terrible.  So recently, I started playing Hitman Absolution - old I know, but have to just start somewhere! That's on top of Final Fantasy which I am playing as well!

Where to begin with photography.  For me, it certainly has been stop start in the sense that I really did want to learn more and understand it better in order to take better photographs.  But the time and effort to take gear out, take the photos, look through and organise photos has been quite time consuming and really I have not made it as convenient as I could have.  I do enjoy looking at people's photos and admiring them, and still want to take great photos - it's just that little bit harder.  Then there is the gear.  The good old SLRs are awesome but feeling the weight and heft of these is sometimes straining!  Hope that this is not a sign I am getting too old.  Or perhaps it is just that I want new geaaaaaar.....(and let's be honest, who doesn't).

Ok, there really is one more and that is housework.  Being busy has meant that often times, it is has just meant that I do the bare minimum to get by, whether it be washing, ironing and general cleaning.
This computer I am typing on needs a clean as I am sure that the fans have a fair bit of dust on them as well. 

Maybe I am just bad at setting goals for myself.  'Baby steps', I should tell myself.  So perhaps I need to now, finish at least one game by end of the year, take and post some new photos, and clean out my wardrobe.  Yes - so I'll check this list later and hopefully complete it sooner.  Now, I have to choose which one I am ready to tackle....but perhaps I'll watch a movie first!

Busy bee, busy as can be

This year has been busy.  I say that reflecting both the positive and negative ways I feel that it has impacted.

From a positive standpoint, being busy has meant that in different ways I tried to set some goals and achieved what I wanted to do. I mean this from a mental standpoint in that I assessed the direction which I was heading in my life, whether that means from a work, health and personal side to try and do things to head in the right direction.  Whether that be motivating myself to head to the gym, or looking to go away or making sure I spend time with my family - all these things add up to be the sum of who I want to be.  It certainly was great to work on my goals.

The negative side of all of that has been a matter of time.  Remaining focused and dedicated requires concentration and can certainly be exhausting.  Often times, it can also mean being pulled in multiple directions and running concurrent thought processes - and multitasking is definitely not one of my strong points.  It has also meant a bit more stress and sometimes, stretching can lead to things slipping through.  Or I don't get to do the things I want to do. Which is annoying to me.  Because I look back and think - I can do better.  I should do better.   Just like my record of low posts has continued into this year. **sigh**

In the past, I rarely needed much to motivate myself.  But sometimes, it is natural to feel weary and worn out.  Sometimes it is necessary to recharge and then re-engage.  Then we can feel the urge to push again.  

I've found that quotes have been quite useful in providing a different view or a little nudge, so hopefully I can find more which will help!

Injury layoff

Injury is such a drag.

In all the years that I have played basketball I have not had a serious injury (touch wood).  Of course excluding sprained ankles, jarred fingers, pulled muscle.  The last one was probably a small lower back muscle strain - leaving my back in spasms for about a week or two.

So it certainly came as a surprise when I was playing basketball a few months back and I dislocated my pinkie.  It definitely looked out of place and I think I was in a a bit of shock as I saw the position it was in and that as much as I wanted to, I could not bend it.  Instinctively I grabbed it with my other hand and my thoughts after I didn't feel too much pain was to put it back into place. Didn't think it would be too bad, but I pulled it up over the other bone.  My thinking was - isn't this normal as people just pop back their shoulders, right?  Having not had such an injury before, I tested my finger was bending ok, telescoped it to check if there was any pain and then taped up the finger to continue to play.  The finger did feel rather weak though (could not pass or shoot), so after around 10 more minutes, decided to wind down.
 Not thinking too much of it, the finger did swell up and by the next day, the bruising was quite apparent.  By then I was unable to bend my finger and I was worried about tingling sensation - was this because of the swelling or had I misaligned it and was compressing a nerve?  Perhaps a younger me would have shrugged it off, but I thought better of it.....after I heard from a doctor friend that it was best to get an X-ray.  Awesome.  By then it was later in the day and so I had to get myself to a hospital with outpatient service and managed to get in - after a long wait due to number of people and prioritisation.

The X-ray cam back clear and the doctor even asked, "Did you take a photo of the finger at the time of the incident?".  As politely as I could muster I said "Um...no."  Unfortunately this could be because the doctor believed that the finger positioning was not quite right.  I eventually left with a brace and wore that for a while and then buddy taped my finger.

A month later, I saw a GP as the joint was still swollen and stiff - but mentioned that it was likely due to lack of movement and stated that I could play some basketball and maybe some light gym work. Also suggested to keep moving the finger and other areas to restrengthen my finger and associated muscles.

It's been two months and it is still not quite right yet - but perhaps age is slowing that healing process!  Played basketball again and managed to jar that same finger again.  What a drag!

Small Form Factor

Not sure what the useful life of a computer should be, but I have had a my laptop for a few years now.  I know some of my friends have cycled through three laptops in the space of same timespan!

In any case, it was getting to the point that I felt it was time to upgrade.  With file sizes and resource usage increasing it was time for some new hardware.  In terms of using the computer, I wanted it to be able to play some of the more recent games (though I have not really been a PC gamer much before), and be powerful enough to take on some of the more complex tasks required (whether it be for work or some video/photo processing).  Whilst I had really enjoyed my laptop, there were three main reasons why I decided to explore a desktop:

1. Power vs cost: While the computing power in laptops has certainly been increasing, even the more basic video cards are on par with the more expensive mobile versions.  Furthermore, the smaller footprints make heat dispersion more challenging and currently places limits in terms of pushing the hardware.
2. Upgrade and fixes:  the lack of ability to upgrade is also a bit of a problem.  Some vendors at least allow the simpler hardware to be upgraded (e.g. RAM, HDD) but changing the CPU, graphics cards etc are typically much more challenging.  Furthermore, to me at least, I don't have as much competency in fixing laptops!
3. Static:  There was a time when I took my laptop around - trying to be hipster sitting in a cafe....  But seriously, that was prior to tablets and large screen phones.  For the most part, the general web surfing and videos can easily be satisfied through other more lightweight means, which leaves really only the intensive applications to the laptop.  The laptop had been confined to just sitting at home these days, so portability was less of a factor to my mind.

So the challenge for me was to build a PC which would not be a hulking beast, but something which would fit within a small space but still have be punchy enough to churn out things quickly.  Which led me to the space of small form factor (SFF).

I did some research in the area and used the very hand resources of PC Part Picker and the Whirlpool forums.  What I liked about PC Part Picker, was the fact that a lot of contributors posted photos of the their builds which gave me much better knowledge of what was possible (or not) and at least brace me for potential issues.  This is particularly important when it comes to SFF as one needs to be aware not only of parts compatibility, but also whether it would even fit into a particular space - and each SFF case would be slightly different!

I went with a case which is only 21cm high and 28cm deep!  The reason I chose this one is that it is small but with decent airflow the the front fan and supports a full sized power supply unit (which allows me to reuse and has more options).

It was definitely a tight squeeze in terms of fitting all the parts in there - it was like playing Tetris and I had to be very mindful of cable management (cable ties definitely came in handy).  All in all, I have been very pleased with the result which took almost two nights to complete (tip: I had troubles with the length of the video card which just fit).  I managed to cram a whole lot into it:

CPU: Intel i7

RAM: 16GB

GPU: GTX750Ti 

HDD: 250GB SSD and 2TB HDD

PSU: 550W Modular ATX

I have been loving the fast boot up times, responsiveness and ability to have the more up to date software.  While there are still expansion slots, the space is so tight, I doubt there is even any room to add anything!

Friends again

Another year has flown by.   For some reason I am surprised that I have not updated a single post for over one year.  That was the same reaction I had last year with every good intention of updating with much more regularity.  Hmm, I cannot even keep my own word!

I am not sure what it is - sheer laziness; better things to do; just plain busy.  But I am sure that I can come up with a thousand more excuses and reasons for neglecting the updates.  I remember that I used to enjoy writing - about the most random of things and that I did find it rather easy to express my thoughts more easily through just writing than talking.  Having someone special whom which I can be open with  means most of my daily downloads come in the form of verbal rather than written communications.

Being stoic typically does not lend itself well to making new friends, though it would be probably too extreme to classify myself as too socially awkward.  Also, of those who I am friends with, I admit I am not on the front foot when it comes to communicating and keeping in touch.  By no means is it that I do not care - actually far from it.  Personally am not the nosy type and don't want to come across as prying.  
In recent times, I have started re-engaging with friends which has been good - though now as many are scattered across different cities it does make it a little harder. Thankfully, technology has come a long way and has overcome so many obstacles!  In the last two months, I bumped into a few friends on the street - and while certainly a surprise, it was great to see them again.

So with a majority of the year gone, there is only a few months to change all of that - hopefully with a new format too. This time, with a memory getting as porous as a colander, hopefully writing things down will aid me when it comes to remembering events - both from what occurred and my feeling at the time.

Anyway, in keeping with my goal, a photo from the archives - Italy:

Unpacking

Having lived in a serviced apartment for a while, I was starting to establish a habit.  A habit of waking up late and walking to work leisurely.  A habit of leaving dishes and towels to be cleaned.  The floors would be wiped; the rubbish taken out; my bed would be made - by the time I got home in the evening.  Wonderful for those who really don't like housework - like me.

When I looked around the place, I still had my seven boxes in the state which they had arrived - stacked two high in the corner.  My golf clubs were still safely in a box waiting for their next destination.  I hadn't really bought anything substantial - fearful of having to move yet another item when I finally left the place. 

As many habits which I had developed during the time I stayed there, there was something which was gnawing at me to not relax quite yet.  Whether it was the friendly daily "Room cleaning!" shout at the door, or the lack of space in the small serviced apartment - I never felt I was living in my own place.

So it has been a few weeks since I have moved into something more permanent.  I finally felt comfortable enough to unpack all my boxes and pack them away into the shelves.  The major pieces of furniture have arrived and managed to get some kitchen utensils and cutlery as well.  With broadband internet connected as well - what more could I ask for?

Ah - I can finally relax....I'll do those chores a bit later I think...

A Link to the past

Over the last few weekends, Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess has really absorbed my time. I had started playing this game a while ago, but I was frustrating stuck at a point in the game and abandoned it (put down to some poor Wii controlling on my part).   But as the old adage goes, practise makes perfect and so after another 2hrs evaporated (and countless in-game deaths), I was finally through!
Sure, the graphics may not be the most realistic, but the playability is what shines through.  
It is a rather engrossing game, with a quest objective throughout the game.  As the dungeons are defeated and new weapons/tools are added to the armory, previously inaccessible areas are opened up - which really adds to the exploration element of the game.  These also add to future complexity of puzzle solving as it requires observation and the ability to integrate and apply prior knowledge and skill.  I still have yet to finish the game, but hopefully I can work my way through it soon!

I remember playing the original Zelda game on the NES back in the 1990's.  It was a great game that stretched the limits of an 8-Bit gaming system.  The maps were huge and the dungeons were tricky.  The odd game for me was the Zelda II which had a top down and side scrolling element.  Zelda III was one of my favorites as it was the only incarnation on the SNES but really had incorporated some new elements while returning to the true top-down perspective.  Unfortunately, no N64 or GameCube meant I missed out on a few episodes!

In all the Zelda games I have played, the underlying theme/formula was largely in common - starting off as an average joe and after helping someone out (and picking up a sword no doubt) end up on a large quest (ahhh, how simple life can be!).  The process of slowly upgrading, listening to villagers speak of rumours or legends can lead to some real rewards which ends up transforming the character into a warrior who eventually has enough at his disposal to send off the evil enemy.  (Hmm, come to think of it, there are a lot of games which use this thematic...).

Playing these games at a young age, I really enjoyed the way in which the characters matured.  Looking back over the years, I wondered whether I had followed a similar trajectory to the in-game hero.  I remember starting out at uni and work rather eager to conquer the world....yet here I am so much more "mature" and still playing games with the same thematic some many years later!  Although it's so easy to just keep pressing "Continue", perhaps I just need to get out some more!

Conforming to success

The bus ride going in to work is a rather mundane affair - the place is filled with people keeping to themselves and heading off to making their living. It was therefore a stark contrast to see a group of three young students. All of them couldn't be more than 16yrs old. Their school bags were slung over their shoulder, shirts untucked and they were joking and laughing with one another. One of them even had a rat's tail for a hair cut! (I thought those were LONG gone). It reminded me of times gone past, but I had little time to reminisce on a bus full of ambition. Rather sadly, I looked at everyone on the bus - busy maximising their free time to check emails/listen to music/facebook before going to work. Everyone was smartly dressed - though admittedly, some more than others. Shirts were certainly tucked in and pressed; ties were, symmetry aside, largely done up. Certainly nobody I saw was sporting a rats tail, dreadlocks or a head of hair that Sideshow Bob would have been dwarfed by.

Then I stopped. Why wasn't anybody showcasing that individuality so overtly? Why were we all conforming to dressing neatly and being so clean cut? It was as though that rebellious stage in our life was left behind. Certainly how a person dresses or presents themselves has no true bearing on their abilities. Perhaps our perception of what comes across as success is built around those who are successful in the field and how they dress and act. In all my corporate life, it has been largely defined by the suit (power suit in some instances) and having conservative style - as most photo shoots of CEOs would suggest. So to emulate such a powerful formula of success one imitates those one deems to be successful. This idea perpetuates itself until this point - whereby we are a bus full of people striving for success.

Question time

Like any normal relationship, friendships requires attention and effort in order to blossom. In these relationships one shares and learns more information about the other person to build up a better understanding. However, our approach in doing so may very well be different. Some like to ask questions; others may choose to sit back and wait for information to be pro-offered. Some prefer more sharp and meaningful contact; others require more consistent interaction. However adaptive I might be at work in managing different people, I have never really learnt to be adaptive with friends in the sense of identifying the unique interactions each friend may require or demand from my and hence be more specifc in my approach.
Sure, friendships should ideally not be hard work and one tends to flock towards those with similar approaches. But we are all different right?

Conversely, I have never really diagnosed my own approach to friend interactions and hence I may have potentially become more distant to some due to my type of attitude. Unfortunately for many of my friends, I have once been told that I am not the type of friend to keep in touch very often since I was not one to make the effort to call others. I can honestly raise my hand meekly with regards to that!

Someone was quite surprised that I didn't know much about my friends' past - e.g. were their parents around, how they grew up etc. Not knowing this was quite normal for me, but to the other person seemed quite strange.
"How do you build up a picture of them without knowing their past? Their past and history shapes their thinking and actions."
"But why is their past performance an indicator of future performance?"
This struck me as somewhat difficult in the sense that I never really enquire about my friends' background or family history. Is this a necessarily a pre-requisite to being a good friend i.e. to know about their past? I am more interested in what they are thinking and feeling now, than in the past and therefore I think it is more important in shaping their current actions and thoughts than their past actions or events.

I am not necessarily a big believer in asking a lot of questions - rather if my friends are comfortable sharing that information, then I will listen. I guess I feel it is more important to know where friends are going than where they have been in the past.

Road Rage

Back on my feet and driving around lately has made me appreciate the different road users. In some instances, this has led to some actions which are starting to alarm me. Allow me to highlight my gross generalisations based on Sydney:

1) Car drivers
- Almost feel like the natural users of the roads, within which there is a hierarchy whereby fast gets more respect than slow; semi-trailers get more respect than a compact car (size matters purely for the reason of 'who wins in an accident').
- Drivers in Sydney feel no need to get into the left lane if they are travelling slowly.
- Unfortunately, some drivers feel that indicating means right of way and that other vehicles MUST give way (was almost in an accident today when a car in a merging lane just entered my lane!)
- If someone is kind enough to let you in, at least show some gratitude - it certainly wasn't your skill which got you there!
- At an intersection, it is selfish to queue across - especially so when the light is about to turn red, and the impatient driver on one end dashes to the other side to block not only traffic but also pedestrians.


2) Cyclists
- I had a cyclist swear at me as he had to stop while I walked across a zebra crossing....(what the?)
- I have seen numerous cyclists run red lights and ride in bus lanes. How does one expect respect without respecting some basic rules. Not sure, but is it somewhat unfair that cyclists can commute unlicensed without having to be subjected to tests which are common to all other users? Bizarre.

3) Pedestrians
- When running across a road to avoid cars across a busy street, although initially running full pelt, there is a need to slow down when approaching the kerb. However, this merely increases the chances of getting hit by the cars as the pedestrian slows down! The task is to make it across all lanes safely, not just the first few lanes.
- Some people really should learn to use a pedestrian crossing. Case in point: had an older man with a walking stick wave it at oncoming cars in a three lane street so that he could cross....with a pedestrian crossing not 10metres away.

So in a way, currently all of the road users have some fault or other. Of course not everyone adopts those attitudes, but the incidents are on the rise.
I do have to admire the bus drivers in the morning as traffic congestion shows no signs of easing and the bus is full of commuters happy to delegate the unnerving task of navigating through all the obstacles...while being on time (thanks to bus timetables).

Meanwhile, the dedicated bus lanes implemented are being cheekily used by non-buses to sneak ahead....

Art of one

Work sometimes dictates that I order my lunch and head back to my desk. Often, this involves finding a spare moment to duck out and find the closest and most likely fastest form of food that money (on a budget) can buy. There is no time to call others or to socialise. Just out the door, down the stairs by oneself.

These moments are quite precious as it breaks up the day and is the one truly accepted time to head out and get some fresh air. Furthermore, I find it is a good distraction from the day to day activities even if only for a minute or two amidst a busy schedule. It is almost sacred "me" time.

Although I can blame the fact that I am busy, if alone, I would rarely sit in a food court and eat unaccompanied. At least with 2+ individuals, upon completion of their meals, a conversation would ensue. There would be no urgency to move. However, a single person, having finished their meal would tend to get up and leave the table. It would be different if one had some reading material. A conversation at a table for one would sport looks of lunacy. Heck, they would have even less looks if they were merely sitting at the table and having a smoke.

Why is it so weird for someone to just sit at a table and do nothing?

It would be ok if they were reading or writing, listening to music, sunbathe or even sleep. But to just sit there and do nothing is a "no-no". I mean we can shop on our own, watch a movie on our own, but we can't be doing nothing. Even if in thought, gazing at nothing in particular and not moving, is seen as strange. Is there such a deep aversion to being alone; what is wrong with being lonely? Last time I checked, it wasn't THAT contagious....and as Chicago sang, 'Everybody needs a little time away...' Maybe it is because that time alone should be private and spent in the absence of prying eyes and ears and that we are out to be seen and heard. I reckon that there should be no embarassment by someone or indeed judgement passed on someone merely sitting there, minding their own business and doing nothing...even if it means hogging the seat in a packed foodcourt!