Being in The Game

I would not classify myself an avid reader of novels. I was never that person in school who would max out their limit at the library with novels. I didn't know the librarian by her name. During schooling years my reading was limited to required texts, crib notes on the required texts I was studying and exam papers. Fast forward to today and I have probably read no more than a handful of novels since receiving my HSC, or university degree for that matter.

A few days ago, my sister dumped a book down as I was playing a video game.
"This book is funny," she said casually, a little grin spreading across her face. I was slightly annoyed at being interrupted during my gaming time - the whole men and multi-tasking thing is true.
"It's about picking up," I heard her say.
Somehere in the deep recesses of my mind it registered what she was saying. Book. Picking up. Hmm...

So it was thus that I first had Neil Strauss's The Game in my hands.

**Warning - some spoilers ahead**

The author, an average frustrated chump (AFC), infiltrates the world of pick up artists (PUA) as an assignment. He is promptly thrust into an entirely different culture, propped up with their own jargon (a glossary is provided as well). One of the main selling points of the novel is that a majority of males fall into the AFC category. Being a self classified AFC (well, I definitely aint' a PUA), I could almost immediately relate to him as well as his feelings. Honestly now, who wouldn't want to be the guy who gets the girl? Who wouldn't want to be the hero at the bar/club/restaurant etc who can chat up the girls? There is almost instant hero status once this is achieved (at least among AFCs). Unfortunately, powering through video games at a crazy rate does not get anywhere near to earning such respect, so I guess my hours have been wasted! The fear of rejection is enough to make a some men man jump into a cage full of lions rather than receive an outright rejection. Therefore, given the opportunity, hordes of AFCs wanted to learn how to become a PUA.

The transformation of Neil is amusing - from the jealousy of his friend who could pull girls, to becoming a guru in the pick up game. The process in which this is learnt is rather startling though. Funnily enough the systematic breakdown of the techniques allowed me to think back to my much younger years, and realised that some of my friends were actually using those techniques! I was secretly wondering whether they had done it consciously after reading some book, or whether they did it subconsciously as a natural alpha male. I knew that I should have studied pyschlogy!

However, the dissection of human nature, mannerisms, hypnosis, NLP followed by the industrialisation of the material available made it a rather stoic process. It was like going through the motions and having a response to every resistance a girl could throw at them. However, I feel that this redraws the border of manipulative seduction and actually dehumanises the chasing process - expecially since I love the build up and the chase.

I am an advocate of the fact that everyone who reads the same text will take away something slightly different based on their past experiences. A main theme for me was the point of social validation. The PUAs were being validated through their success with the girls. In order to get to their targets, they needed to be socially validated by the target's friends as well as their own. I guess deep down, everyone does to some extent. A classic example is if someone gives another a compliment. Sure one may not necessarily be seeking it, but I know it feels good when someone gives me a compliment. Not many people like feeling like an outcast - even if one is not necessarily mainstream per se, they would tend to gravitate to those who most similar to themselves.

Another point to note was that the techniques being used were more or less attracting a certain type of person, and sometimes, they did get blown off. The question for the AFC would be why are they learning those techniques? Is it to get a particular girl? Or get a particular type of girl? I doubt that it would work on too many of the people I know.

Finally, the notion of being emotionally, physically and intellectually drawn in to form a relationship was highlighted. It almost went against the grain for many PUAs (or at least many of the AFCs which became PUAs). From a PUA perspective, too often were the emotional and intellectual elements neglected as they became lost in deploying different "techniques".

All in all, I reckon it was a great entertaining read - and maybe I learnt something from it all (and hopefully not just about picking up).