Focus

Sometimes one feel so worn thin.  So stretched.  Tired.

When the goals just feel that little bit out of reach.  Like looking in a mirror, but without a reverse a reversed caveat - "object may be further than they appear".

I remember when I used to be able to run a few kilometres and really had no troubles and my mind could just push through the pain and make it through.  Over the years, perhaps my mind has gotten weaker and just gives up in those situations.  "Just walk now," my unfit tells myself.  "Just relax," that soothing inner voice says, directing my gaze to a nice park bench.

I wonder what happened.  What happened to the competitive person who used to play nonstop and who could run forever?  Was it seeing the young fellas just catch up and be better overall?  Am I past the peak?  Damn.

But self doubt aside, perhaps over the years I have grown weaker or less confident and need to mentally rebuild my confidence.  My recent determination has certainly allowed me to rebuild some of that and putting in the effort and subsequently seeing results continues to make me drive forward.   Often times, it is frustrating when one sees a disproportionate amount of effort to eventual outcomes and pushing hard for long periods at a time can be mentally challenging.

Playing video games has also been frustrating as it does require a lot more patience to get through.  Finding it much harder to stay up to play games these days!


Setting smaller goals and moving forward.  Step by step.  (heart to heart....thanks Martika!).