Saturday 11 August 2018

Nostalgia vs Hoarding

Moving house has meant that I had to do a clean up.  That clean up has led me to find and think about all the old tech and cords from different equipment which I have accumulated over the years.
I feel like I am getting to the point where I have no idea what to do with all that old tech.  Keep it long enough and it falls into the nostalgic category where vintage comes back in.  But it is not quite old enough to fall in that category!
Perhaps that there is a lesson learnt in all of that - only keep that which will be used again as there really is not a whole lot of value remaining in that equipment and that I need to trade some of the stuff out more quickly before it loses all residual value.  I definitely know I am not a trader in that regard, so something I perhaps need to learn to do!

Currently, I am looking to get some new earphones.  I had toyed with some cheaper bluetooth headphones.  AIWEI and JoyRoom, but sadly while they offered a lot of promise, the build quality seemed to not hold up to my everyday usage (for the AIWEIs) and the JoyRooms seem to have an issue with random dialling on my phone when I hooked them up via blutooth - definitely not ideal!
I have my normal headphones - for home and travel, but hardly portable for the everyday usage on commutes and at work.

Navigating through the minefield of various reviews and websites, I was looking for something with great sound and not too expensive as to be upset if they suddenly break or stop working.

I also have my old GoPro Hero 3+ as well which I have been slowly been using again.  It is still a great little camera - and was recently given an LCD screen for the back - definitely helps with composition!  Hopefully I can buy another back for the waterproof casing and start using it more meaningfully underwater!  I guess sometimes, a mini-upgrade is the way to go rather than the whole hog!

Sunday 22 July 2018

Serve up happiness

Over the years, I would find myself deferring happiness.  I would stop myself buying or doing something, as I felt it was not the right time to do it, or would feel that it was unnecessary.

I would not spend on a pair of jeans knowing that I didn't need it, or we had stayed in the same place because it was still convenient and didn't want to move, even though the place was small.  Partly there was a cost element, and felt it was unjustified; partly there was laziness and general inertia, after trying to move and a few false starts in the process.

However, recently, I have had to move house.  The old place was experiencing water seepage from the upstairs unit, resulting in wall degradation and mould.  It was terrible in that the place smelled of wet sand and I really didn't want to sit in my living room.  So the decision was made to move to a new place and take the opportunity to find a bigger space.  While the cost was considerably more, after some extensive searching, we settled on a new place - something which we would enjoy for a while.  Over the last few weeks, I had realised that the place can make us happy.  I think our original place was good for us when we first moved, but over the years the limitations had really set in.  Small kitchen and general space did not allow us to have our friends over.  We were finding it difficult to cook for even the two of us, resulting in lots of eating out and takeaway.  Outgrown the space in terms of storage and it was truly convenient but was on somewhat of a main road which had buses and cars passing frequently.What our new place lacks in convenience is offset with the space, flexibility, storage and quiet surrounds.  I never realised how much noise there was before, but definitely can appreciate the difference in being in a quieter neighbourhood. All this time, I had been missing out on this because I didn't want to pay up for it. 

To some degree, we have to responsible for our own happiness and create an environment which I want to come back to every day - and create more of a home.  In that short space of time, we have bought the coffee machine we have wanted and updated certain elements to do just that.  I just never realised how big a difference it can have on the way one thinks or feels - creating more a positive mindset and outlook.  So perhaps it is about time to reboot and rethink how I approach making myself happy! 

Sunday 15 July 2018

Notepad Scribbles 20180715

A bit over half the year has already gone by and I have to say, this year has seen a lot of change already.  Some was slow and some has been much faster.

I had lamented the fact that it had been challenging and the difficulty sometimes of staying mentally focused while not seeing results.  So the first positive is that in some areas, it is that the slow grind has shown some improvement.  It has justified the perseverance and the consistency.  Not knowing the outcome until afterwards.  But now, it has breathed extra life into the activities which is great to see.  While there has been a lot of stop starts and trial and error to find what works and doesn't work, it feels good when things are under control - if even just for now.

The other large changes have been moving. If ever one moves, one realises how much clutter and extra belongings one has hoarded over time - some lost in a black hole of forgetfulness or misplacing items.  Finding things can sometimes be a joy - but dismay when I realise I have bought more of the same due to being absent minded! It's also a good time to assess whether some things are relevant and some things just need updating or replacing.  Definitely been a great exercise for de-cluttering, perhaps due to being sentimental or just a hoarder mentality.  One thing I know is that I hoard quite a bit of paper (no, have not gone paperless just yet) and some I never look at again. Probably need to rethink that strategy to be honest!


Sunday 6 May 2018

End of an era

It took me a while to make the decision on the way in.  I decided that it was time to go.

It definitely held a special place - being my first vehicle.   The learning experience about buying a car.  The excitement and freedom of going around in it. Driving it to the country roads.  

But as things age, like a lot of things, more niggles started to creep in.  Certain things requiring more maintenance or requiring fixing.  Pipes, air-conditioning, roof sagging to name a few.  I was getting sick of just not working.

However, new cars these days are so well equipped.  Close to base model cars already have reverse cameras; multi-airbags; auto headlights; auto windwipers; sat-nav; not to mention phone connectivity!  I don't even know what to do with the CD's in my CD stacker!  However, the big factor for me was that I was not using it and know that it was taking up space and kept draining my wallet for no reason apart from real nostalgia.  Of course, the new safety features are super important - rather feel cocooned in safety features rather than the none - no matter how much nostalgia there is!

Not sure whether it is my age, but I certainly feel the ride of the new cars more comfortable while also delivering good driving feel.  Definitely a big plus in my mind.


It was definitely an end of an era.  Hope it finds a better home!

Wednesday 7 February 2018

Discipline

I recall that last year, I was feeling drained and found it difficult to focus.
It's hard to sustain a high level of concentration - even basketball players face that problem, especially the grind of a long season until playoffs roll around.

Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) I am not a basketball player and I don't have  high stakes, winner-takes-all post season to determine success or failure.   So I can't just turn up in the second half.  I have to be there.  Consistently.  
Don't get me wrong - it's definitely not easy.  But for me - it comes down to concentration and discipline.  Perhaps I should be thankful that to some degree I have discipline some of the time.  I am not sure whether it was actively instilled in a younger version of myself, which has allowed me to reap the benefits today.  We always have our weakness or compromises from time to time, but it should be that guide.  I recently rewatched "The Last Samurai" - with Tom Cruise, which was a movie romanticising the way of the samurai, which in a way was about exhibiting the discipline to do things to perfection.  It was not about being necessarily the fanciest nor elaborate - but somehow striving for an elusive perfection, yet sadly recognising that such a goal may never truly be attainable.

It was to exhibit the self control and to ensure to control oneself before the situation.  It's both hilarious and reprehensible to witness heightened efforts for show, but yet when the cat's away...
To be honest, I do believe it ebbs and flows - and I really am not sure if it is something really learned or instilled, but would be fascinated to understand a very "lay" answer to that!

However, it is quite easy to lose oneself in the grind of things.  Injuries and being busy with personal events have led to me disrupting the schedule - and lack of progress or results definitely is mentally challenging.  But hopefully, I can get back to a semblence of a routine to be back to being the disciplined self and getting back into the swing of things! 




Thursday 11 January 2018

Turning a slow ship....

I had definitely hoped for a more positive start to 2018.
However, it seems like things are still challenging - more a continuation of 2017.
What is most disappointing is when one believes that they have made changes; gone through the hard yards and hoping for the outcomes to be different.  Made changes to set oneself up for a better tomorrow.  But no.  The outcomes are not different.  The pain continues both professionally and personally.  All that slogging. All that running with the head down to get things done. 
What is disappointing is that after all that push - nothing.  Or even regression in some instances.

Perhaps I am not used to being in such a predicament - and usually can overcome such a predicament.  But now I start to question whether I can even overcome it all and what it really would take.   Going from, "What do I need to do?" to "What else can I do?" takes some time.  I wonder whether I still have the same mental resolve I had when I was younger.   

Have I lost it? 
I certainly hope not. 

Perhaps I am lost in the detail or I am not really thinking long term enough.  Let's hope I can turn things around - soon!

Sunday 7 January 2018

Accumulation

Sometimes, when the journey has been a long one, it is interesting to look back at how things have changed or evolved.  Often, one doesn't seem to see the picture when one is in the thick of things day in day out.  The subtle changes.  Little things.  Over long periods of time, the cumulative stack of all can really have a big impact on things.  Like looking at a single pixel and then drawing back further and further until one can see all the pixels interacting to make a larger picture.  Looking back, sometimes I wonder whether things would be different had certain things been spotted or had been done differently.

Facebook would occasionally offer a look-back of interactions with people or a 10 years.  Instagrammers would post their best 9 this time of year or have throwback photos.  I don't often go through all the photos I take, so seeing a random photo of yourself interacting with others in a time long ago triggers surprise at that moment which had been so normal, but today may not be.  Casual coffee catch ups.  Christmas parties.  Hopefully not so many regretful moments!

It happens when you find some old clothes.  Will it or won't it fit?  Some of my earlier suit commissions highlight that back then, I had a larger waist and smaller torso - so at least that's a small positive from when it was a struggle to button up my shirt.

Coming back to my apartment after holidays, I definitely noticed that things were a bit messy.  I wonder to what extent is this a result of stack of my bad habits of leaving things around?  Also, I cannot help but wonder what the effect there is of that on a person - perhaps shaping a person more.  Hopefully it is not too late to change those habits....time to (reluctantly) clean up!


Monday 1 January 2018

Happy 2018

Looking back at 2017, I did try to achieve my goal of posting more.  I definitely tried to post more than those meager years and so hopefully that did come through a bit more.

What I probably did not do so well with was trying to post more photos - which would definitely make this more interesting and something which I think would add a bit more colour to the posts.  Especially after I bought my drone!

On reflection, 2017 was an interesting year and looking forward, it would be interesting if I were able to be more balanced in 2018.  I want to be able to spend the time learning new skills to improve myself, and read more books.  Now that I have a tablet, I hope I will be able to get out there and read more and welcome myself into the age of technology.

Last year, I mentioned - learning a new language (incl a programming language), so I think I need to definitely put some more time into it to keep up my language skills.

Over the Christmas period, my family mentioned that I am not really a planner - so that needs to change and I need to be able to plan more to do more from here on in.  I also want to have a cleaner place, so the plan is to be more discerning in terms of what I keep vs what I want to discard.

More goals to come and so many improvements but hope that 2018 is a better year!